Homelessness for Stupid People
The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...
I went over to a friend's home
yesterday evening to pick up the bike he wanted to donate to the
Serve the City Project. That's Cornerstone
Church's homeless mission, by the way. Walked there, rode it
back. It was in pretty good shape, though needed some adjustment on
the deraileurs, but mostly very nice. I stashed my own wheels and
rode that to Vineyard
Christian Fellowship this morning. Before you call me on this:
Damnit Christian, you said you weren't going to get to Vineyard
anymore! You're working! Well... my bad... I still have my job, but
it's Tuesday through Saturday and I when I wrote “To Take a Shower”
I wasn't aware of that... even so, the issue there was mostly about
guys who work and simply cannot get to showers at all. But I
digress.
Anyway, I hadn't been at Vineyard for
some time, and it was nice to see a lot of the folks there.
K-Mark (Mark with a K...), Denny,
Annie, Quiet Max...
Quiet Max is a young kid who is very
quiet. Lot of experience behind those dark eyes. He's a guy who's
story I'd like to hear someday. He's seeing the daughter of a friend
of mine, Vince. Haven't seen Vince in a while, but Max tells me he's
doing just fine where he's at. Vince's Daughter, and Max's GF is
this pretty little fireball of a girl, exactly the opposite of
Max. Though, like a lot of young homeless, they're very guarded, and
take a lot of time to trust people. Smart, actually. I think I've
mentioned that.
Bicycle Brian was there this morning
as well. He was working on different people's bikes, and did take a
look at the one I brought in for my friend. Some of the good news
happening there is that Brian and Mickey Kundert (the bosslady of
this mission) are getting together to make Brian's services available
weekly on Mondays. Brian would be working on donated bikes (which
often are in pretty bad shape) and doing some of the maintenance on
those in use that need it... of which there are lots! Brian made a
point of mentioning he'd need a spot for his parts-stash. That looks
like it'll come together.
And guess what, everyone there this
morning was on their best behaviour! Well... almost everyone...
everyone that is, except... ME... :)
I arrived just after seven, walked in
the door, and Rick (Mickey's husband) was there by himself. The
tables and chairs weren't set up yet, so I began digging them out
just as John arrived, and he started grabbing stuff and the three of
us set up.
So I asked “What... no Princess
Paul today?”
“Oh, he's in the Shower already...”
Shower Nazi Doug told me. Go figure. Shower Nazi Doug had been
setting up the towels and other hygiene paraphernalia for the
multitudes that would arrive today (I didn't do a count, but by the
time I left just after ten, it looked like the shower list had about
fifty on it).
Princess Paul was already in the
shower. Had to be first, didn't bother helping Rick set up... but
that's Paul.
I grabbed a napkin and scrawled on it
“Reserved for Princess Paul” and placed it on his customary
seat... and continued to help out...
I met Paul for the first time in
December of last year when he showed up at the Warming
Centre. He was talkative with everyone, expressing opinions
mostly, talking conspiracy. It wasn't long before he began telling
Bob and Donna McKenzie the things they should be doing. In fact,
there wasn't a volunteer who met him to whom Paul didn't express an
opinion on how things could be made better. He'd never, of course,
bother acting on these things, showing people how things could be
better, but he certainly knew what he was talking about, and made
that perfectly clear.
I've mentioned this before, but I'll
do it again. At the Warming Centre, after Lights Out, you don't move
around, you stay at your sleeping station, try and sleep, unless you
need to use the bathroom. You don't talk, you don't eat. Snoring,
however, is a fact of life. You live with it.
Paul would get up, walk around, sit
in a chair and stare at people... can't tell you how creepy this was.
He also built a gloriously thick bed.
I have no clue how many blankets, mattresses and sleeping bags he'd
stack up, but the bed he made reminded everyone so much of the
Princess and the Pea fairy tale that he earned his nickname: Princess
Paul.
When Paul started waking people up
for snoring, that was when he alienated everyone. He shook me awake
once (only once for me, but others got it several times). The most
egregious incident was when he woke Frank up twice in one night.
Frank works 10-14 hour days. Paul was finished after that. If he
had not disappeared he'd have been told to leave.
But in the last few months his
presence has been a reminder of past annoyances... well, his presence
and his lack of effort and sense of entitlement...
So I left that little note on his
chair... my bad... smack me, beat me up... I simply could not help
it...
When he came out of the shower, he
arrived at his chair, found the Napkin-Placard and lost it! He
crumpled it up, and threw it at me.
Now, I can't remember precisely what
it was he said, but the fury in his eyes was evident.
Yes, I laughed. I found this very
funny. And you know, Princess, if you would grow a sense of
humour...
Have I mentioned I don't trust anyone
who can't laugh at themselves?
Yes, I was a very, very bad boy this
morning... I'm sooo (not) sorry...
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