Tough Love for The Kid

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

My cousin Clifford and his wife are heavily involved in with the youth group at our church. It's his thing, he truly enjoys having fun with these kids, probably because he's a bit of a big kid himself. For a while there, and I'll probably start doing this again, I was hanging out with them, largely because I like the youth pastor, Tom, he's a good guy.

Anyway, some of them got involved for a while helping out with the Serve the City Group over at Vineyard Christian Fellowship on Mondays, and it occurred to me that some of these kids would benefit from living homeless for a while.

Of course, I was only half serious, and I was NOT taken seriously at all by anyone. But that thought has stuck with me for some time, and I saw this in action last season at the Livermore Homeless Refuge.

At the Warming Centre early last season, I believe, if I remember correctly, in mid December, a black woman in her late 30s or early 40s (I can never tell... a black woman could be 50 and I'd swear looking at her she was 20... they're blessed with the non-aging gene, and yes, true to my nature, I did notice she's quite a pretty thing...) arrived with a young man of 18, spoke to Donna and Bob McKenzie and left him there.

It turned out she was this young man's mother, and this was her way of making sure he was somewhat safe while she administered her version of tough love. I'll just call him “The Kid” for simplicity.

What problems he had at home I couldn't say. But the Kid had a temper problem and something of a discipline problem. It took him some time to get with the program. Nobody believed he was a bad kid. So far as any of us are aware, he was not on drugs of any kind. He was soft spoken and meticulous about his appearance. He was NOT a “Pants on the Ground” Loser doing the Folsom Prison Shuffle.

But, he'd have issues like, oh, taking an extraordinary amount of time in the showers (we're limited to 15 minutes each). I was the target of one of his tantrums one day when I tried to get into the bathroom at Asbury Church and he had all his stuff piled up behind the door. He came back to me a day or so later and was very apologetic, which I appreciated.

To me, he seemed unmotivated, directionless... in a word, lazy. But he was 18 and male. To say he was “lazy” might be a bit redundant because most kids that age are... is it a hormonal thing? I dunno...

But this kid was not receiving any guidance save for the occasional encouragement or admonition from a few of us. Being something of a loner, and very reticent with his communication, it was difficult to get to know him.

One of the clues to his character, however, I was made aware of quite recently.

There was this dirtbag named Anthony who was, in a word, a problem. I won't get into details that are irrelevant, but Bob and Donna McKenzie had to call the police on him the last time he stayed at the Warming Centre and he called Bob a racist.

Yeah... Anthony might as well have stabbed Bob in the gut.

Anthony proceeded to talk to The Kid and my good friend Ricky, both of whom are also black, and tried to get them to come with him and The Kid said “I'm staying!”

That may not sound like much, but before you blow it off, remember, the Kid is a young man of very few words and they tend to have meaning when he utters them. Bob McKenzie, being of similar nature, can probably appreciate that. Those that know Bob certainly can.  The Kid chose Bob over Anthony, and that should say it all! (He wasn't the only one, by the way)

It was shortly after the end of the season (the Warming Centre's season ends April 30) that I ran into the Kid outside the library and asked him how he was.

He told me he had managed to get a job and had since moved back in with his family. Things were going very, very well for him. He was happier than I had ever seen him with this big, lighthouse grin plastered proudly across his face. He'd scored the job on his own, and earned his place back home...

I did catch a glimpse of the Kid's mother that day, who I had never spoken with and I failed to meet her this time. She's someone I'd truly like to talk to and to whom I'd like to express my admiration for. It had to be a difficult thing to kick her son out into the world the way she did. It was tough love at its very finest... I think Pastor Tom would approve...