Ripple Effect?

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

We were talking about Sigfried and Roy this morning. They were tiger trainers. Roy Horn was attacked by one of their tigers a while back, which paralysed him and ended his career. But the gist of the conversation was establishing authority, and how important it is when dealing with dangerous animals.

My friends Mike and Tina had met them in Las Vegas where Sigfried and Roy performed. They met them at some point before the accident and were told that tigers are smart. That tiger push limits in so stealthy a manner you'll never know when it's happening. According to Mike, he was told that tigers are insanely intelligent about pushing limits. They do at intervals, learning as they go and that, he was told by Sigfried and Roy, it is difficult to recognize even for the most experienced trainers.

Fortunately people are easier.

The homeless have showers available Monday, Wednesday and Friday at three different churches around town. What's nice about this is that it keeps the homeless reasonably clean and healthy, and keeps them from offending the olfactory senses of those around them... especially the community at large. I detailed those services in my second blog posting.

When I first began using the showers and up till quite recently it was a chaotic affair. Many of the details would turn the stomach of the average person. But if you didn't arrive early enough you could wait hours for a shower. The time limit had always been fifteen minutes, but it was not enforced well, and some would spend as much as an hour showering, running out the hot water.

Shower Nazi Doug has been running Monday Morning Showers for six or eight months... neither Doug, nor Boss Lady Mickey remember exactly.

Immediately, Doug established his authority. In his high heels and mini skirts that show off the smoothest legs in Livermore, he sports a booming voice and a big rubber mallet.

When it's your turn to get into the shower: you go NOW!

When your time's up, and it's time for you to get OUT of the shower: out comes the rubber mallet! BOOM! BOOM BOOM! TIME'S UP! (He used it this morning... God love him!)

Early on, people hated it. The level of complaining about Doug and his “Holier Than Thou” 'tude and “Power Trip” and his “Stupid Way of Doing Things” were a topic of conversation, read whining, anywhere the homeless gathered. For weeks you could hear it. Nobody before had ever imposed that kind of standard on the homeless of Livermore!

Don't get me wrong, there were some standards, but they've always been loose and forgiving. Christians do run these services, after all. Forgiveness is a mainstay of Christianity and... well, I won't go there... maybe in my next blog...

So, while Doug took over at Vineyard on Monday Mornings, Asbury remained much the same for a while.

But slowly, something amazing happened. Without anything changing at Asbury from the top down, the showers began running smoothly. A long shower list did not mean you'd wait for two or three hours. Maybe an hour... People were actually becoming more and more responsible, getting their business done, and getting out of the way so the next guy could get in.

What happened?

Observing from the outside looking in never gives a complete picture. There are too many moving parts that cannot be seen. However, it's very interesting to me that after Shower Nazi Doug took over, things began going more smoothly at Asbury, which he's never been in charge of. The only thing the Vineyard and Asbury operations have in common is they serve the same people. They're not run by the same people.

In my mind, Shower Nazi Doug has taught us all a valuable lesson in standards. A practical lesson that nobody before him had been able to put into action. There could, of course, be debate over what happened to make the Asbury operation run smoother... some may disagree and I'll not challenge those arguments, I've said my piece on the subject...

It also taught me a valuable lesson. Without Authority there can be no set standards. Doug established his authority, and laid down standards... He tamed the tigers that are the Homeless...