Hacking Away...

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

I've been called an “untutored, undisciplined hack.” “You're the best writer on the Patch...” I've also been told. I take both with a grain of salt. I particularly love the first one, especially considering the source.

One responder to one of my blogs said the following, and I took it as a very sincere, if backhanded, compliment: “Christian, maybe you should consider working for Animal Control or maybe be a reporter and get paid for articles or even write a book. Seems like you have a lot of energy that can be harnessed to pull yourself out of homelessness. Unless of course, you want to be homeless - still figuring that one out.”

Want to be homeless... Haysus... does nobody pay attention?

Okay, I do have a casual friend who is a reporter. Not a Television Reporter, mind you, but a print reporter. He has a university education and is struggling financially. Print Media are not in the best of shape, and I highly doubt one of them is going to hire a non-college educated writer who's self taught and homeless. And becoming a Best Selling Author... wow... Jeopardy Answer: Pipe Dream... the question: What do you call the magic pill an idiot thinks he's going to swallow to make life better? Scroll down to the bit about The Messiah in This Piece.

I write because I truly enjoy writing. That's all there is to it. I find it a great way to communicate ideas to people. I don't get a dime for doing any of this. Sometimes I get paid with a death threat... which have become so numerous they're now passé... unfortunately. The adrenaline rush I experienced the first few times was exhilarating! I kinda miss that...

But, damnit! I can't believe there are still people who read this damn blog who think anyone wants to be homeless! On what planet would a sane person believe this? I truly don't want to do a repeat of the blog I posted about the Simple Joys of Being Homeless.

Being homeless is TOUGH! It's not an easy life!

I cannot ever sleep in, I can't work at night, because if I do, there's no place for me to sleep... and that's terribly difficult for me, because I the wee-hours was always something I truly enjoyed in the past. Having a job while being homeless makes it challenging to get a shower. I manage, but others have a very difficult time.

Off the top of my head I can name six friends who are employed and homeless in Livermore: Gary, Frank, Ricky, Rosemary, Pat and Jaime. Some of the unemployed homeless are also very energetically doing volunteer work.

What amazes me are unemployed people who shun the types of jobs held by those I just mentioned.

For instance: I've seen people who are facing homelessness who see that freight train coming down the tracks and can't seem to get out of its way. I spoke to a woman today about that. She's out of work, but shuns jobs paying near minimum wage because she couldn't support the house she has with it... Well, sweetie, when that unemployement runs out... being jobless isn't going to support that home either...

I know a nurse who was making six figures who is now homeless. A NURSE for crying out loud! Bet she loves being homeless... if anyone has the prospect of getting out of being homeless it should be her, right? You would think those great job benefits Nurses have are going to take care of her... right? Not in her case... When you're overextended, you're vulnerable.

Why don't you rent a room? I have been asked repeatedly. The answer is: because I'd be spending more than 80% of my income on renting the least expensive room for rent. That, and I'd be living with someone I do not know, and have no idea what kind of situation I'm walking into. And the backup plan is to go back to being homeless? I'll stay here, thank you very much, if that's the fallback... why bother?

Parleying a hobby into a career is something I did do in the past. I'll not get into it, but I was, at one point in my life, well paid for the freelance work I did in a field I entered as a hobbyist. That fell apart when the industry I worked in accelerated too fast for me to keep up and I had to change careers.

Now, I work as a maintenance man and a clerk for a local business. The hours are good, the pay is good for what it is, and I'm managing. It's a job I coveted for a very long time ever since my last job went away. I am more than grateful to my boss for it.

I am one of the working homeless. I chose not to feel sorry for myself. I chose to be happy with who I am and I choose to live in the real world.

The notion that somehow I could write a best selling book, or turn this supposed writing skill into some kind of magic solution to my own homelessness is... well, it's fantasy. For those of you who tell me I have this amazing talent as a writer, thank you, that's very kind.

But I still enjoy, very much, the notion that I'm an untutored, undisciplined hack...