Danny Bonaduce

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

I'm dating myself... but when I was seven years old (that was 1970) I began watching a show called The Partridge Family. It was a contemporary of The Brady Bunch (which everyone seems to know of, even 20 year old kids). But those in my age group remember The Partridge Family largely because of the wise cracking, precocious, freckle faced middle child played by Danny Bonaduce.

Bonaduce's fame from that time is, as most Baby Boomers know, enduring even if he's not in the public eye very much. For that reason Bonaduce's interview with Oprah Winfried is being aired on Sunday August 4th on Oprah's network.

I thought it fascinating to find out Bonaduce was embarrassed to be living homeless.

In the interview Bonaduce talks about how he'd go sign autographs in front of the Chinese Theatre with all the footprints in front of it, then sneak back to the car he lived in once nobody was looking... and it just strikes me how out of the norm I am.

Yeah, it's all about me... of course. But it's not! My friend Frank never wanted his boss to know he was homeless. He lived in his car for years supporting a terminally ill wife in Southern California all the way till the day she died. If you've been following my blogs you'll see Frank come up from time to time, he's the only Frank I've mentioned, always the same guy. And here he was, doing something insanely noble, suffering homelessness so his wife could live comfortably at the end of her life... he's not the only one. All the guys I know who are working homeless share that fear. Frank and all the others were afraid of the stigma of homelessness.

Oh, let me just add this: Bad Behaviour causes that stigma! All you meth-heads out there, all you thieves, all you drunk and disorderly types, and the ones that refuse to take a bath and those of you that set up squalid camp sites: you're the guys that make it difficult for the rest of us by perpetuating that stereotype.

I'm not going to stand here and blame Livermorons at large for disliking the homeless. Experience being what it is, when you run across someone who is so obviously homeless, who looks horrible, smells bad and is holding a sign greedily begging for money... you getting it yet?

I feel for Danny Bonaduce. I truly do. But if I could sit Danny down with me right now I'd stare him in the eye I'd tell him: you were homeless? I wish you had grown a pair and embraced it! Learn to deal with it and teach others that you CAN be homeless and retain your dignity!

You CAN have a job.

You CAN stay clean.

You CAN keep your teeth brushed and wash your face and shave and your keep your hair cut.

You do NOT have to wear clothing till it rots off your body.

And you don't have to play the pity party whenever people find out you're homeless.

You're there!

Own it!

I have to tell all of you that when I was first homeless I was insanely scared and humiliated. The idea that anyone would find out I was homeless was horrifying to me. So, Danny, I get it. I just got sick of trying to hide it. No, you can't come to my place! I don't have one.

And if you, or any of your colleagues in Hollywood find yourselves in that circumstance again, I'm telling you this: Get Over It!

Being homeless is not about who you are. Yes, it has to do with mistakes you've made in the past and how you deal with them. It's how you must live till you manage to, somehow, climb out of it. Being homeless does not change you immediately. It will, however, change you in the long term. It's certainly changed me.

I'm sure being nationally famous opens more than a few doors regardless of circumstance. That's great, you can climb out of it faster than the rest of us. Most of the rest of us don't have those kinds of opportunities, not that I'm begrudging you what you have. But I will tell you this:

My decision to own my circumstance more and more became about protecting myself. It's coloured a lot of what I do. Yeah, fame is involved, not the kind of fame you have, but fame, never the less.

There is, for instance, a photograph of me with my bicycle on a blog I did about living out of a Bicycle. Know what that does? It tells my target audience (who are, themselves, homeless) that this durn thing is mine, and you better not take it because everyone knows it's mine. That it's common knowledge I'm homeless has also kept me out of trouble with both Police and other homeless. People take me seriously when I speak of who's who out there. When I give someone a warning about so-n-so being dangerous: its not ignored, and I have developed a reputation for honesty about such things by... well, being honest about such things.

Call it “Enlightened Self Interest.”

Human beings are social creatures, Danny, and you are connected to the most social of industries. Being homeless does not have to separate you from the world. If you own it, being there can be instrumental in connecting you to it.

Anyway, Danny, glad you're out there now talking about it... better late than never...