Jumping the Line

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

I worked today. Did a job for Butch, a guy who goes to our church, tying down a floor that creaked in a new office he's setting up. Made a little cash, got tired. Good, honest labour. I love it. Anyone afraid to do a little hard work is afraid of life.

I worked yesterday as well, though I wouldn't exactly call it work. I played gopher for Master Craftsman Bob Adams. That in and of itself is a treat. When I say Bob is a master craftsman, I mean you probably won't find someone able to produce more beautiful works of art in wood as him in the Valley. I'm fond of telling people how his daughter would pull pages out of a catalogue or magazine of some fancy piece of oddly shaped furniture, hand it to Bob and say “Daddy, can you make this for me?” And he DOES! At the end of the day Butch asked me if I wanted to work on the floor, and I yes... so there I was...

Anyway, today also happens to be Wednesday, and that means showers over at Asbury Church on East Avenue. That's great, I expected to be done by three, and make it there with plenty of time to get my shower. That was the plan anyway.

Unfortunately, the plan is never the plan. God always has other plans, and today was no different. The single battery I had for the screw gun ran out at exactly 11am. Crap! I was two thirds done, having worked on it about two and a half hours. I had no idea how long it would take to charge, but I was not optimistic. It was an el-cheapo craftsman job and I expected it would take a while. So I called Butch, left him a message that I was going to high tail it over to Asbury, get a shower, come back and finish the job. I was still pretty confident I'd get it done before three.

So, the place is on Murrietta and Holmes, I high tail it down Fourth Street and East Avenue and arrive there about twenty past eleven. (oh, and just so everyone knows, the Holmes family and the Holm family: NOT the same family!)

I get there and my buddy Nick runs up to me and tells me Adam Parris is there! YAY! Flipped my phone open, made the call... and the man slinks away and back under whatever rock he's been hiding... Gotta love having Police Dispatch on Speed Dial...

As Donna McKenzie peaked out the door, which was still locked, I ran up and told her I was on a deadline to get back and needed to be at the head of the line.

Well, Shower Nazi Doug was going to be running the showers for Johnny DeLaRosa (who'd be a little late), and he was NOT happy with me.

“You pull anything like that at Vineyard and I'll bounce you to the back of the line!”

I love Doug. He has a very well defined sense of right and wrong. Gotta love a guy who knows about these things.

I did try to explain to him that I would never do such a thing without his permission, but that I truly needed to get back not later than one, and if I had to wait for a shower, I probably wouldn't get one today.

Just an aside, this is one of the reasons I want so much to talk to the folks at Saffron Strand. One of the things with showers for the homeless is this: if you have a job, forget it! You're S.O.L. And have to fend for yourself. Showers are 7-11am Mondays, Noon to 6pm Wednesdays, and 9-11am Fridays. That's it. If you have a day job... buy a membership at 24 hour fitness. Nevermind that they no longer have one that can be got to without a car. I really want to know how Saffron Strand deals with these things. I can't imagine a bunch of homeless people working in their offices that stink to high heaven...

Anyway, I did get my shower, got back to the job site, finished the job, and walked away satisfied I'd done it well (though there's still some creaking in one spot I just couldn't seem to fix...) Oh well... nobody's perfect... especially not me...