Losing Tommie's

For me, personally, the world just got a little colder. But loss is not something new to me, and I'm sure not new to many of you.

Tommie's Café closed for the last time today (Sunday, October 27th) at 1pm. I arrived shortly after four to find Tommie and Kelly Van Fossen sitting inside with their youngest daughter Juliana chatting about this and that. Juliana, who is a precocious 13, was asking a lot of questions typical of hyper intelligent girls her age, demanding clarification on just about everything and which her parents patiently answered.

Tommie invited me in, and I sat with the three of them. Looking around, I couldn't help but notice the bare bones of what had been, simply put, the friendliest business I've ever run across.

“Whoever moves in here,” I told them. “They have mighty big shoes to fill.”

Kelly thanked me for that, but I said it with sincerity of someone who benefited from her kindness and generosity. I wasn't the only one.

Remembering that Tommie's Café was attached to the Livermore Library, there's a certain type of clientèle one must expect. Intensely intellectual people, people who work out of the library, and the bottom of the barrel. I fit into the latter category, of course. But Kelly welcomed all with open arms and a huge smile on her face. One of the things she demonstrated the most was empathy and one of the things she demonstrated the least was patience. She has the patience of Job. She'd never let on that she's being patient with you unless you knew her well enough to read her... and that takes time.

Tommie's Café had its cast of characters. I suppose I was one of them. The village idiot, as it were. But if we had to compare it to the popular sitcom Cheers, the cast of characters included the very popular Norm, the ever so eloquent Frasier when he was married to Diane, and the Bar-Know-It-All, Cliff Claven.

The three wonderful women behind the counter were Super Woman, Take No BS Ever and, of course, Mrs. Soft Hearted herself... that would be Kelly... oh, and lest I forget, the soon to be Lady Professor had recently returned...

When Steve Sweeney was still Chief of Police, he'd often show up early in the morning right as Tommie's opened and grab a quick breakfast and a cup of coffee. Since his retirement, he'd still pop in from time to time just to catch up with her and others there.

Tommie's was as social an atmosphere as anyone could imagine. Local Historian Anne Homan would frequent and sit with just about anyone who was interested in chatting. There were no shortage of those.

Kelly very often showed how much she cared for the people who were “Less Fortunate”. She'd always allow people to come in out of the cold, give hot water, sometimes a free cup of coffee or even a sandwich to someone who was hungry. There are those who took advantage of that generosity, of course.

Kelly very rarely found it necessary to turn anyone away. But like a lot of kind hearted people, she was sometimes punished for her tolerance and generosity. I won't sully this piece with details, but, suffice it to say, there are those with such a sense of entitlement that they actually became abusive when they didn't get a freebie from Tommie's.

For my part, Tommie's gave me an anchor. Kelly graciously allowed me to help her out most mornings. I wouldn't do very much. I'd pull down the chairs, do the ice if necessary. Take out the trash in the afternoons sometimes. I'd carry stuff in from her car and maybe fold rags if they needed folding. If I spent more than 15 minutes doing any of this any one day, it was a rare thing. It gave me a reason to get up in the morning and have a place to go and be motivated to face the rest of the day. And no, Kelly did not need my help, but I think she recognized I had a need, and she very graciously allowed that need to be filled. She'd reward me with a cup of Dutch Chocolate Coffee each morning and since I started my new job, it has been a fabulous start to my day.

Of Tommie's patrons, Pat, and Joe, and Tish, and Yvonne and all the rest of you... I'll miss all of you. All of you know what it is we just lost...

In that little corner hole in the wall, just to the right of the Livermore Public Library main entrance, someone will bring a new business at some future date... I've no idea when...

And yes, they do have some mighty big shoes to fill...

Hacking Away...

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

I've been called an “untutored, undisciplined hack.” “You're the best writer on the Patch...” I've also been told. I take both with a grain of salt. I particularly love the first one, especially considering the source.

One responder to one of my blogs said the following, and I took it as a very sincere, if backhanded, compliment: “Christian, maybe you should consider working for Animal Control or maybe be a reporter and get paid for articles or even write a book. Seems like you have a lot of energy that can be harnessed to pull yourself out of homelessness. Unless of course, you want to be homeless - still figuring that one out.”

Want to be homeless... Haysus... does nobody pay attention?

Okay, I do have a casual friend who is a reporter. Not a Television Reporter, mind you, but a print reporter. He has a university education and is struggling financially. Print Media are not in the best of shape, and I highly doubt one of them is going to hire a non-college educated writer who's self taught and homeless. And becoming a Best Selling Author... wow... Jeopardy Answer: Pipe Dream... the question: What do you call the magic pill an idiot thinks he's going to swallow to make life better? Scroll down to the bit about The Messiah in This Piece.

I write because I truly enjoy writing. That's all there is to it. I find it a great way to communicate ideas to people. I don't get a dime for doing any of this. Sometimes I get paid with a death threat... which have become so numerous they're now passé... unfortunately. The adrenaline rush I experienced the first few times was exhilarating! I kinda miss that...

But, damnit! I can't believe there are still people who read this damn blog who think anyone wants to be homeless! On what planet would a sane person believe this? I truly don't want to do a repeat of the blog I posted about the Simple Joys of Being Homeless.

Being homeless is TOUGH! It's not an easy life!

I cannot ever sleep in, I can't work at night, because if I do, there's no place for me to sleep... and that's terribly difficult for me, because I the wee-hours was always something I truly enjoyed in the past. Having a job while being homeless makes it challenging to get a shower. I manage, but others have a very difficult time.

Off the top of my head I can name six friends who are employed and homeless in Livermore: Gary, Frank, Ricky, Rosemary, Pat and Jaime. Some of the unemployed homeless are also very energetically doing volunteer work.

What amazes me are unemployed people who shun the types of jobs held by those I just mentioned.

For instance: I've seen people who are facing homelessness who see that freight train coming down the tracks and can't seem to get out of its way. I spoke to a woman today about that. She's out of work, but shuns jobs paying near minimum wage because she couldn't support the house she has with it... Well, sweetie, when that unemployement runs out... being jobless isn't going to support that home either...

I know a nurse who was making six figures who is now homeless. A NURSE for crying out loud! Bet she loves being homeless... if anyone has the prospect of getting out of being homeless it should be her, right? You would think those great job benefits Nurses have are going to take care of her... right? Not in her case... When you're overextended, you're vulnerable.

Why don't you rent a room? I have been asked repeatedly. The answer is: because I'd be spending more than 80% of my income on renting the least expensive room for rent. That, and I'd be living with someone I do not know, and have no idea what kind of situation I'm walking into. And the backup plan is to go back to being homeless? I'll stay here, thank you very much, if that's the fallback... why bother?

Parleying a hobby into a career is something I did do in the past. I'll not get into it, but I was, at one point in my life, well paid for the freelance work I did in a field I entered as a hobbyist. That fell apart when the industry I worked in accelerated too fast for me to keep up and I had to change careers.

Now, I work as a maintenance man and a clerk for a local business. The hours are good, the pay is good for what it is, and I'm managing. It's a job I coveted for a very long time ever since my last job went away. I am more than grateful to my boss for it.

I am one of the working homeless. I chose not to feel sorry for myself. I chose to be happy with who I am and I choose to live in the real world.

The notion that somehow I could write a best selling book, or turn this supposed writing skill into some kind of magic solution to my own homelessness is... well, it's fantasy. For those of you who tell me I have this amazing talent as a writer, thank you, that's very kind.

But I still enjoy, very much, the notion that I'm an untutored, undisciplined hack...

Sometimes "NO" is the Best Mercy

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area..

Sometimes the word “No” is the most merciful thing one can say.

This last week the Livermore Independent published a very interesting article this last week by Ron McNicoll titled Libraries Are Recourse for Homeless (Thursday, October 3, 2013)

From that article:

(Livermore Human Services Director) Prashure said that she also talks to (Livermore) Library workers about such things as how to deal with someone who is unruly , or has “not taken a bath in a significant amount of time,” which might draw complaints from other library users.

I'm not going to name any names today, but if you frequent the Livermore Public Library, you know exactly who Ms. Prashure is speaking of.

On this very morning, this man did, in fact, take a shower. He was given fresh clothing and politely asked to change his cloths... very politely... for about the 100th time this year. I can't count how many attempts there were last year. But, when he came out of the shower, he still wore the same things he wore going in... it was not pretty, though it was... fragrant!

While we're at it, why don't we politely ask alcoholics to stop drinking and meth addicts to stop doing meth...

I told one of the volunteers about it, and her response: Pray about it...

Okay: Lord God, you are the great teacher and the great provider of wisdom... please help these volunteers get a clue... in Jesus' Name, Amen!

I started this blog largely out of frustration for exactly this sort of thing. Everyone who's followed it knows it's about bad behaviour... is stinking to high heaven bad behaviour? If you're invading a small room with lots of people in it: YOU BET IT IS!

But this particular man has problems. He's very quiet, peaceful, and keeps to himself. He rarely speaks. When he does he usually utters one or two words at most. What caused him to become this way, I can only guess. Nobody seems to know for sure. Last season at the Warming Centre, Bob and Donna McKenzie called an ambulance for him, and he refused to get on it even thought he'd suffered some sort of seizure. The Ambulance Crew could not act. Nobody had any power to do anything.

Christians act out of compassion for the individual. It's their mission. What is usually left out of the equation is compassion for those around that individual. Everyone else can go to hell and suffer because we must all have compassion for that individual... and this is where the vast majority of Christians and I part company.

Compassion is counterproductive when you allow anyone to inflict harm upon themselves or others. Was it Christ's message to let this go on? Really? Someone show me where in Christ's message rest of us have to tolerate it at any level.

At what point will this man be told to change into clean clothing that doesn't reek to high heaven or leave?

The problem has made the front page of one of Livermore's most respected news outlets. I've seen post after post to this blog from people looking for a reason to complain about the homeless and bring the hammer down on the lot of us.

Well: here's an excuse!

Forgiveness and compassion are just dandy... but Christ said: Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. (Book of John 8:11) How long before it's appropriate to tell someone “No More!”?

To all you people out there who have kept us alive and clean and clothed, thank you! Do not mistake me, you truly are doing the Lord's work.

Mayor Marchand on the Homeless

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

Mayor John Marchand is nothing if not a disarming, engaging and astute conversationalist. I have seen him several times at Tommie's Café and, more recently, at his State of the City Town Hall in which his engaging speaking skills were on full display. When a private meeting with him was offered, of course I took it, and scheduled one for the afternoon of Friday, September 27th.

Maybe I'm not being clear enough in conveying how disarming the Mayor is... first, he showed me a painting by Tilly Calhoun, who was a cousin of mine, hanging on the office wall. He showed me an ancient Fire-Engine Red Coke machine he had in the conference room we used... who told the guy I like old stuff? He also made it very clear throughout our conversation that he was quite familiar with most, if not all of what I'd written over the course of the last few months... I wasn't going to get away with a whole lot in this conversation...

The Mayor took issue with a couple of things I'd done. One was beating up on LPD... we had an amicable disagreement over that. LPD Guys (and Gals), I'll remind you, you have always had my respect, and you always will. Mayor Marchand reminded me that LPD has been doing yeoman's work fighting crime lately... which is certainly true, all you have to do is go through he Police and Fire section of the Livermore Patch to see this. (Just an Aside: here's a brilliant piece on being a witness by Mayra Flores)

The other issue was that I have written that the city does nothing for the homeless...

He gave me a sheet describing things being done with federal money aimed at the homeless. Two things I noticed in it. The first was Abode's Hope Van, which shows up once a week at Vineyard Christian Fellowship.

The other item on the list involves a $900,000 Federal Grant (which certain people think they're gonna get a piece of) to prevent families from becoming homeless. Keeping families from becoming homeless is certainly a noble endeavour, but I have not nearly enough knowledge on the subject to even begin an intelligent conversation on it... read: no knowledge.

Abode is what it is, a government funded non-profit that provides medical services. Wonderful. We also have AXIS over in the Multi Service Centre on Pacific which is probably funded in some similar manner.

I stand corrected.

What seemed to concern the Mayor greatly is funding the Status Quo. He made it clear he doesn't want to do that. Finding real solutions would be high on his priority list if he could identify them...

Sorry, Mr. Mayor, if I knew, I'd share it with you, but I can make some suggestions that, hopefully, won't cost the city a dime more than it's spending now.

The first is this: Keep discouraging permanent camp sites. Mayor Marchand spoke of how anyone camping along a water way, such as Mocho Park, is simply unacceptable. It creates a health hazard. Yeah, being homeless is hard, but it's possible to be mobile even if you don't have a car... how often do I have to repeat this? Every encampment we spoke of had always become a disaster in short order.

Two: Please make it clear to Livermore Residents that giving money to people flying signs finances substance addiction! It's also the biggest single attraction for out-of-town homeless. If people want to give, there are plenty of more productive ways to donate money. If people have the gumption, they could volunteer at the Livermore Homeless Refuge, which needs volunteers far more than it needs money.

Three: Encourage those groups helping the homeless to set strict behavioural standards. When standards are laid down, people do tend to rise to the occasion. Sure, they'll grouse about it, they'll complain and they'll whine... Mr. Mayor, it would so tickle me to hear you say: “Just feed 'em some cheese and tell 'em this is the way it is!”

And last, but probably most important: Encourage those helping the homeless to engage the homeless themselves in community service. I can't stress this enough. When people get used to performing a task, they tend to become productive.An object in motion... yeah, you being a Scientist, Mr. Mayor, you don't need me to remind you of this axiom. I see a lot of cigarette butts and other trash in Carnegie Park... and who was talking about Livermore Residents picking up trash a couple of days ago...? Hmmm?

The Mayor told me something that impressed me. He worked in a Library while attending University and had to deal with some of the vagrants in it, which I'm sure was very pleasant... not... so he does have experience at this level. He's seen the ugliness and bad behaviour first hand, which is a good thing. Couple this with the Mayor's new policy of community engagement, and I think his office has set course in a very positive direction.

What Mayor Marchand alluded to throughout the conversation was that problems with the homeless always involve Behaviour... Uhm... where have I heard that before?

No matter...

We did not have time to speak of the real economic barriers that keep the working homeless homeless. That's something that... well, I certainly can't imagine what would solve that outside of massive amounts of government money... and that's proven disastrous...

BUT... Mayor Marchand has been thinking...

...and what he's been thinking about is having another Town Hall on Homelessness sometime in the future. It has no set date, and may not happen for a few months, but he seemed very enthusiastic about it, and is likely terrorizing his own staff with the idea as I write this in his brilliantly engaging way...

Once again, Mr. Mayor, thank you again for seeing me. It was very much a pleasure

The Policeman is your FRIEND!

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

Some nights classic things happen. Wednesday evening I attended the Mayor's State of the City Town Hall which was surprisingly enjoyable, I must say. But Michael Harris, our new Police Chief, was there and I'd wanted to introduce myself to him since I'd heard he'd taken over the job and I had a question or two to ask him, but that's neither here nor there.

My friend Robert and I were hanging out outside the Library after the event and I noticed Chief Harris was speaking with a woman inside still, they were the last two in the room and I thought it would be a great opportunity to have a word. Fabulous, right? Right!

Anyway, so my friend Robert was looking at me sideways as if I was plotting something horrible... c'mon, Robert, Really?

No matter... eventually, with the library about to close, one of the staff came in and probably informed the chief and the woman of this, so, they came outside. I took that opportunity to introduce myself and he excused himself to continue his conversation with the woman.

Robert and I went off a few yards away to let the two of them complete their business...

Now, Chief Harris is built... he's tall, and looks to be a pretty powerful guy. I'm 5'10”, not tall, but he towers over me. His uniform enhances this effect. Plus he was wearing what appeared to me to be a field uniform complete with his piece on his belt, nevermind the four stars on his collar, he looked like a well groomed Patrol Officer who could easily handle whatever.

So, Robert and I are waiting patiently, and up strides Nick. Nick is former Air Force, and also tall, but lanky. He's wearing his seabag on his back, probably about fifty or so pounds of stuff he carries, and there we are... Nick is the only Nick I've ever mentioned in this blog. He's a close, personal friend and one of those people who truly gets it... but for a moment, just a moment, things got... well, funny.

Now, imagine, you see a couple of your friends in the distance. Between you and them is a Police Officer talking to a well dressed woman, with Robert and I looking our dischevelled selves sitting on the bench a few yards behind.

I wished I'd had a camera. Nick's face went visibly pale and seemed to elongate at once. He stopped dead in his tracks and appeared as if he was about to turn around and hurry away.

It was all Robert and I could do to keep from busting up laughing.

Poor Nick obviously thought we were in some kind of trouble... of course, his experience is this, any time the police are around any of the homeless, that's what it usually means.

In any event. Chief Harris said goodnight to the woman and approached. I re-introduced myself and introduced Robert and Nick, then posed my questions to the Chief.

Just so you know, Chief Harris was very gracious to us and very personable and my impression of him on a personal level is favourable. I hope I have opportunity to speak to him at length at some point.

I think I took about ten minutes of the Chief's time, we said goodnight and he left for home or whatever business he had, and Robert and I proceeded to tease Nick about his reaction to the circumstance.

Nick... you and I already agreed, the Policeman is your FRIEND! Don't forget!

A Prayer for Kristina

At 11PM, Monday September 24th, Sandra Chesterman posted this on her Facebook page:

Feeling an unbelievable, unimaginable loss right now. At 11:04 pm last night my beautiful baby girl Kristina was struck by a 19 year old drunk driver while she road her bike in the bike lane home from study hall at CSUChico. She was less than one block from home. The driver just left her in the road to die and went on to crash into 2 more cars (no others injured) then stumbled into his apartment and passed out drunk. Kristina Chesterman suffered major head trauma and is not expected to survive. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Even the best people?

How much can one family endure?

Last night, Kristina Chesterman was struck by a drunk driver after, I am told, an evening class in Chico. She has been hurt so badly that her chances of survival are not... they're just not good.

Kristina's mother, Sandra, and her father Dave, are likely in Chico at this moment holding vigil and hoping for a miracle.

If you've been paying attention, you'll know that Kristina's brother suffered a brutal attack in Chico earlier this year while he was visiting Kristina.

Sandra and her family are... well, they're the best people. I count Sandra amongst my friends and I'm very proud to call her that. I've met Kristina only a few times, but I remember her as a vivacious, beautiful young woman with a caring soul who supports her mother well in Sandra's efforts to serve the poor and the homeless.

Your prayers are requested for the miracle that is so desperately needed. I don't know the details, but Kristina's injuries are said to be terribly severe and very life threatening.

Thank you all...

KRCR News Story

Patch Story by Mayra Flores

What? No GIFT CARD?

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

I'm on Twitter. Yech, yes, I know, I'm going to Hell! Please don't beat me up! But I'm subscribed to a lot of Activists for the Homeless who tweet amazing things about how these huge programs are going to solve homelessness... I'd love to wake these people up from their fantasies...

There's a frequent blog responder named Special Ed who these activists should probably talk to. He wrote the following:

“I've written in the past that I am one of those who is perfectly willing to give whatever I have to help people who are trying to help themselves. It's the abusers that annoy me. I know that I should not be judgemental but I'm not perfect and quite honestly I'm more than a little fed up.”

Wrong, Special Ed, it's okay to be judgemental. In my less than humble opinion there's not enough of it going around... I've seen plenty of what it is you're talking about. If these attitudes that create the kind of behaviour you're talking about are not corrected, nothing will ever get solved.

I mentioned, in passing, in a previous blog how Keith And Nancy, a married couple that used to sit on The Rock in front of the I580 Safeway told volunteers that the volunteers needed to pay their rent because the volunteers simply hadn't done enough to help Keith and Nancy. Keith and Nancy are just that deserving. That happened some time ago, and as many little incidents that have happened since, I've let a lot of those fade away from memory. This blog would have twice as many blog postings if I chronicled all of them.

More recently, Mariah had a birthday. Mariah isn't homeless. She's doesn't even live in Livermore. She lives in an apartment near BART in Dublin. But she shows up at Vineyard most Monday Mornings and most Thursday Afternoons.

It's easy to feel sorry for Mariah. She had some sort of accident which left her with some brain damage. She's obviously lonely, and her motives for coming to where the homeless are probably have a lot to do with some need to be around people... but I don't read minds, that's conjecture.

Mariah gets a whole lot of sympathy from the volunteers, or has in the past...

Anyway, it was her birthday this last week...

My good friend, I'll call this person The Former Masochist (TFM), was thoughtful enough to buy Mariah a cake for her birthday... I saw the cake. It wasn't an inexpensive cake, and it was more than enough to share with a lot of people. TFM was already unhappy with Mariah, since Mariah had given TFM a list of items TFM needed to bring Mariah for Mariah's birthday... I can't remember them... I just remember it being something of a frivolous list of expensive stuff.

Later that day, TFM gets a text from Mariah telling TFM that TFM had “ruined” Mariah's birthday with that cake! RUINED! It was all TFM's fault that the rest of Mariah's day went to hell, and TFM didn't even include a gift card... THE NERVE!

Over the years I've seen this kind of thing in a lot of pre-teen and young teenagers (and some older teenagers) who treat their parents this way. It's the parents job to give the kid anything they want all the time no matter what or there's hell to pay... NOT! I hope any parent reading this gets what I'm trying to say here... overindulgence is just... wrong.

One of the things that I do take are shirts. I've had most of my shirts for well over a year and I take good care of them. Mickey Kundert and Bob and Donna McKenzie both run clothing lockers on two different days. It's something they do very well. One of the things Donna will do is this: every time she finds a shirt that's “my style” (button down plaid) she'll save it for me... I haven't taken one in some time. I just haven't needed them any. I love those that I have and hope to keep the for some time to come.

But there are certain people who are so used to getting free stuff, free services, free everything, they seem to have come to expect it, as if it's a right they have. All you have to do is show up, no effort is required! Just enjoy!

Mariah is one of abusers that fits Special Ed's description. TFM told Mariah “I'm done with you!” this week to Mariah's face. I was there! That's why it's “Former” and not “Current” Masochist! I was so proud of my friend!

So, Special Ed, TFM, in the end, had to be judgemental in order to end the cycle of abuse by Mariah. Mariah's not the only one who's abused TFM, but a lot of that is coming to an end as well. TFM's experiences, I'm betting money, probably mirror yours.

I wish I could put Special Ed, TFM and some other volunteers in front of a bunch of bound and gagged activists and force them to listen instead of pontificate and seek to spend everyone else's money... that would be so much fun to see...