Life at Tommie's Café

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

Kelly Van Fossen is simply one of the most gracious people I have ever met. During Tax Season, you'll find people begin to line up outside the Livermore Public Library at 5:30 in the morning. They're here to sign up to have their taxes done and waiting to get inside out of the freezing cold March and April morning air.

The Livermore Public Library opens at 10AM, but most of them know by now that Tommie's Café, if you look just to the right of LPL's main entrance, opens at 7AM. Ruth, the Tax Volunteer in Chief, will often show up right after Kelly does at 6:30 and Kelly will let everyone in and out of the bitterly cold weather.

Kelly's very, very sensitive to this need and shows a great deal of compassion for these people. She'll play Ruth's surrogate, answering questions on how things work with the volunteers who assist those in need of having their taxes done.

People are often surprised there is a Café attached to the Livermore Public Library. I hear it all the time, people will just make these comments of how great an idea it was to put this shop here.

The regulars are an interesting lot. Yvonne, the former Ballet Dancer and ethereal flower child. Pat, Yvonne's pet man, who has this James Earl Jones voice, intense charisma and always something interesting on his mind. That's not a dig. The man is never boring to chat with. Maybe that's why he always seems to have these beautiful women around him, usually from distant, exotic places.

My good friend Joe shows up most mornings, buys me a cup of coffee or five, and we chat about life, love and family. Joe's one of those men of Italian extraction that would fit well into a Mario Puzo Novel. His sensibilities about honour and duty to family are instantly recognizable once he begins explaining them.

Kelly named a sandwich after Tish. The Delicious Tish has pesto, tomato, egg and mozzarella cheese. She comes in often and knows just about everyone in town. You'd be hard pressed to name a name in Livermore she hasn't met at some point, and she's one of those people who you want to meet for a variety of reasons.

Then there's the walking ladies. This group of ladies show up every Friday like clockwork. They park their cars in the lot, walk their rout, and return to spend time here at Tommie's chatting about this and that... and adopting the creepy homeless guy that sits at the end of the counter, who they seem to have taken an interest in. Kelly loves them. It's Friday and Kelly loves Friday! When the Walking Ladies show up, her day is half over and she can begin the downward slide into the weekend and a well deserve break.

Behind the counter are Jaime, Jane and Marci. Between them, you'll find stalwart, explosive fire, Super Woman, and Too Cute for Words... I'll let you figure out which is which... but know this, each of them share those qualities... as well as Kelly's graciousness and generosity. Count in Kelly, they make the atmosphere of Tommie's Café into one that is not just a friendly place, but a comfortable place, a welcoming place. This is a place where valuable friends can be made. I've made more than a few here, myself.

Why am I talking about a Cafe in a blog about homelessness..? Because, my friends, it's the only business that I, as a homeless man, have felt truly welcome. Kelly will give everyone a chance, and does! Oh, there are a lot of stories about things that have happened here which will never be spoken of except between trusted friends, but I'll say this: Kelly and her friends have seen a lot and managed to keep it from ever being a problem.

John and Ricky are two guys who get why all this works. Remember I was talking about behaviour? Courteous Behaviour is why John and Ricky are two homeless guys who are in the good graces of Kelly and her staff. Ricky, especially, but John as well have become protective of this place. Keeping people informed of what is and isn't acceptable is something both of them are keenly aware of.

Keep this in mind when thinking of Tommie's. It's a private business attached to a very public facility. There is nothing more Public than a Publicly Owned Public Library, and the Livermore Public Library is no exception. I've never heard of anyone being banished from it, so it attracts all kinds. Then there's the fact that Livermorons love their library like no other community I've ever heard of.

If you are homeless, and walk into Tommie's good behaviour will get you respect. A history of good behaviour will get you trust. That's true for everyone everywhere whenever dealing with others. It's one of the things the lion's share of the homeless in Livermore do not seem to understand, and need to learn.

Kelly and the rest of the staff and regulars at Tommie's have been some of my best teachers in the past months. And this Almond Rocca Mocca isn't bad either...

KINDERGARTEN

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

How much trouble can I get into over a blog? Heh... a LOT! Yes folks, you'd be pleasantly surprised at how much the homeless community in Livermore resembles the worst drama (or is it the best drama?) you've ever heard of.

DRAMA: 1, composition in verse or prose intended to portray life or character or to tell a story usually involving conflicts and emotions through action and dialogue and typically designed for theatrical performance.

The question is, are we dealing with verse or prose? Seriously! If you took the example of a certain lady who lost it with me last Monday you'd have to say verse... the ear splitting rant I enjoyed was sheer poetry... it was a thing of utter beauty delivered with boisterous style. I truly envy people who can do so with such aplomb.

Being self assured is a quality a lot of homeless share. My friend Lynn observed that a lot of them always seem to have an angle. Some scheme that's magically going to get them out of being homeless. They also tend to be very sure they're victims of circumstance rather than their own bad choices. It is true there genuinely are people who are homeless because of circumstance, they're the exception, rather than the rule. For my part, I'm the rule, rather than the exception.

I remember Nancy once lamenting that the services delivered by the Christians here in Livermore caters mostly to broken people. At the time I was listening rather than thinking about it, but it did stick with me. I remember agreeing with her at the time, but not quite sure why. I was still “young” in my homelessness and uneducated as to many of the realities. What I failed to understand, and I think Nancy probably still does is this: it's not about being broken, it's about immaturity. Eventually reality has made it's way into my consciousness and I am adjusting to it... slowly...

One of those realities is this: a lot of us were not properly educated by those who raised us (or failed to raise us). Again, I'm no exception. Here I am, darn near fifty and I'm trying to learn things I should have learned before entering Kindergarten! Any gathering of the homeless you'll find looks a lot like unsupervised five year old children.

When you become homeless, there's a great deal of fear. You're entering a world in which the rules are murky and confusing. If you're already unclear as to social rules of your local culture, as most of the homeless are, it's even worse. It's no accident that there are a lot of what you would call “non-conformists” amongst the homeless. If I were to guess, and this is by no means a declaration, I'd speculate that a lot of the non-conformists rejected social rules because those rules were never properly explained to them, if they were ever explained at all.

My friend Kenny was just run out of his camp site by authorities. Kenny is not the type of problem homeless guy who attracts negative attention. I've mentioned him before as a man I respect. Kenny's mistake was sticking around as the problem types moved in, began to create a mess, effectively raising a banner that said “Homeless are Here, and we're making as big a mess as possible, come deal with it!” It happens every time a colony forms, and Livermorons do not take kindly to it with good reason. It's one of the rules, and a very important one. Don't like it? Go live in the National Forest or on some BLM land...

It does present another problem for the homeless, however. If being alone is a better idea than the protection offered by a colony, how do you protect yourself when you bed down at night? The answer is: hide! Be mobile, don't have a fixed camp site, and never, ever, leave evidence you've been there when you leave. The most successful homeless people, the ones who have the least problems, live by this model.

The homeless are a talkative lot. Do we know when to shut up? No, most of us don't. As most of you reading this have learned, saying too much makes for a great deal of drama...

Ooo... there's that word again: Drama!

So, is Drama a product of immaturity?

My experience tells me it is... but then there are those of us who feed on it... The News Media would not exist without it. Life would be rather boring if there were none of it, and nobody would own a television... And this blog would certainly never have been started if we were all mature adults who dealt with things logically. A certain level of drama is essential to make life worth living. People devoid of drama are boring people.

The trick is to learn where the norm is, and how to stick to the norm. This may seem a trivial thing, but when one becomes overly dramatic it attracts attention. When one becomes overly dramatic too often... remember the tale of the Boy Who Cried “Wolf?” (Judy, you listening?)

Always remember this, my friends: when you are dealing with a homeless person on any level, you are most likely dealing with someone who has not yet grown up.

That Was a Very Spicy Omelette!

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

I sat down with my friend Linda this morning discussing this blog. I had just come out of the little shower at Vineyard Christian Fellowship. This is where Cornerstone Church's Serve the City project serves breakfast and runs showers for the homeless. We had the usual type of breakfast... part of which consisted of a spicy omelette, sausage and hash browns (which I found ironic considering the title of my last blog entry... but boy, it's a really good omelette!)

Anyway, Linda and I were discussing what I was trying to accomplish with this blog and I'm not sure I expressed myself very well, so I'll try again...

What had happened shortly before is that Judy, who I mention in my last blog post, read it... oh boy... Judy proceeded to blow a gasket and told me I was a piece of sh-t, an MF, and I had no right to repeat the lie she was spreading about Mr. and Mrs. C...

As I was sitting with Linda, we were talking about behaviour and how to deal with it. I told Linda the story of how Lenny tried to run away with my bicycle. Now, My bike is packed. It weighs a total of 80lbs because it has everything I own strapped to it. You might see me from time to time around town riding this black and silver Trek 7100 with bags mounted to the front and back wheels. (Shout out to Livermore Cyclery, where I bought all of it... you guys Rawk!) Well, while the Warming Centre was open last season, Lenny tried to walk away with my bike. People had to hold me back to keep me off him. The same thing happened just recently on a Monday morning at Vineyard. (Actually, both incidents happened at Vineyard, but that's beside the point). I got in Lenny's face and the lovely lady who runs the place told me I had to leave... so I did. I still have my bike, by the way, I watch it like a hawk.

So I was explaining to Linda that from now on, if I see Lenny, I'll be calling LPD and reporting his location as, very often, he has a warrant.

Well, here comes Judy, she plops down at our table and proceeds to inform me that I have no right to violate Lenny's privacy by reporting his location to the police. My friend Linda wasn't about to tolerate that, so the two of us got up and left Judy to stew in her own juices...

What I was trying to get across to Linda, and just about everyone else, is that tolerance of bad behaviour does a disservice to those behaving badly. Never mind that tolerance of bad behaviour is also offering aide and comfort to those who abuse people who are actually trying... (how much gets stolen at the Monday Morning Breakfast? Well, lately I have heard of no incidents, but I remember a while back there was a rash of things going missing...)

Intolerance of Bad Behaviour, however, will change lives.

Another lady I know wrote to me telling me I should write for the San Francisco Street Sheet. This is part of the Coalition on Homelessness. http://www.cohsf.org

I had no clue what that was when I received the note, but I did a google search and figured it out, and began to peruse the site... and I was shocked that this lady would ask me to write for people who are so diametrically opposed to where I stand.

You see, the Coalition on Homelessness will tell you the Government can solve everything. Mandate Low Income Housing, Prop C (The Housing Trust fund ) Prop E (The Pogressive Revenue Initiative ) etc, et al, ad nauseum. Where's the effort to change the attitudes and behaviour of the Homeless? Would I write for these idiots? There would have to be a very, very big figure on the pay-check I get for doing so... I support nothing they support because nothing they support makes a whit of difference to anyone except for the pick-pocketed taxpayers...

I run by two axioms. The first is this: Respect you deserve, Trust you Earn!

The second is that: your behaviour is my only tool to judge you. Your words mean nothing unless they match your behaviour.

Amongst the homeless, this is on full display all the time. Helping the homeless shed their bad behaviour will get us at least half way to solving the problem, if not a whole lot more.

Linda, I hope you see this... I hope a lot of people see it... and now that this is done, I think I'm going to go back and see if there's any more of that Spicy Omelette left... damn that was good!

I AM OMELETTE!

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

Originally Posted June 8, 2013 on the Livermore Patch

“I am homeless! You must help me!” The speaker's voice was heavily accented, and the speaker was a little round woman named Kami who hails from Egypt. But when she says “I am homeless!” her accent causes it to come out as “I am omelette!”

“I got a ticket, and I cannot pay it! I will lose my car!” Kami laments.

“So, sell your car,” I told Kami one day. “Then you can pay your ticket!”

“But I need my car! I must keep my car! But if I do not pay, I will go to jail!”

“Well, you'll have a free bed, free showers and free food! That's not so bad, is it?”

“You are mean! You are so very mean! I will not speak to you again!”

But, of course, Kami speaks to me again. My customary greeting when I run into Kami is to say: “Hello, Kami, how miserable is your day?”

I always thought homeless people would be the dregs... little did I know that when I became homeless, I'd engage in some amazing intellectual conversation.

Take the man I like to call “The Messiah.” The Messiah knows exactly what the future has in store for all of us. There's going to be a war that starts in Cyprus, and Colon Powell will become president, and the world is going to fall apart. It's all predicted by Nostradamus. The Messiah has a master's degree in something or other and considers his oratory skill to be second to none. Others might disagree even as their eyes glaze over in the overzealous glory of The Messiah's riveting orations...

Often you may find him at where the homeless are or in the library pestering the odd Librarian who owes it to him to bask in his intellectual splendor.  He'll charm her with tales of the book he has up on amazon.com concerning how the Anti-Christ is actually the Warlock in the employ of the President of Iran. He has a composite sketch to prove it! His book was supposed to sell millions of copies and get him out of being homeless... maybe it still will...

Kerry will tell you she's on her way to meet Barak Obama, and is going to solve the homeless problem in one shot and get back her job at the CIA... right after they take the brain implants out of her head that (recently retired) Police Chief Sweeney ordered installed...

Small and energetic, Kerry has a special place in my heart. She makes no bones about her desire to jump mine... can't tell you how thrilling that is! She'll come into Tommie's Cafe, plop down right next to me and put on this huge grin and just giggle. It's cute and creepy at the same time.

The most fun I've had with gossip is that which Judy has started about herself. First, she's got a girlfriend named Jamie... but, she tells people, she decided she was going to cheat on Jamie with Mrs. C. Then Jamie and Mrs. C were cheating on Judy together. Then Judy and Jamie cheated on Mrs. C... oh, and the latest? Judy seduced Mr. C, but Jamie got to him after and now Jamie and Mrs. C are sitting on the sidelines watching in shock and horror... Needless to say, Mr. and Mrs. C are not at all happy about these rumours, but Mrs. C decided to make the best of it by explaining to everyone who asks how the story got started in the first place. Mr. and Mrs. C have donated a lot to the homeless, by the way... time, money, effort, and I'm sure they consider Judy's tales of woe a special blessing...

My all time favourite amongst the homeless, however, is Todd. Todd has a special place in a lot of people's hearts (especially the very same Mrs. C... I think she has a crush on him!). Todd is a bear of a man with red hair and often sports a remarkably well kept red beard.  Having a conversation with him is... well, it's more like having five or six conversations at once, as, keeping him on the same subject for more than one or two sentences is next to impossible...

Last year, Todd got his hands on a 35” TV.  One of those big, heavy, old fashioned CRTs. He had it plugged in outside the multi-service centre on Pacific and set up camp there. You could walk by and see him watching television every night for weeks. Finally someone got fed up and booted him out... but he was there, I dunno, a month?

He'd been known to carry everything around with him everywhere. I've heard tales of him digging green bread out of his bags and refusing to throw it away. Never saw that, but I do believe it.

What I did see one day, on a weekend at First Presbyterian Church on the steps to the old sanctuary, Todd had everything scattered all over that porch. Yes, this is the same 1st Pres on 4th and L street where a whole lot of Livermorons got baptised (including me!). On this particular day it was hosting the Warming Centre (what we homeless types call the Livermore Homeless Refuge). I was working as a driver at the time and was going to have to get up very early (as in 4am) the next day. It was about 9:30 when I was leaving, and found this disaster on that porch.

I have to admit, I lost it with Todd. I told him if he didn't get the mess cleaned up immediately I'd throw it all away. We did argue about it, but he got most of his mess cleaned up.... not all of it, however, and I ended up walking a whole lot of his stuff to the trash cans in Carnegie Park.

I caught some grief for that. But I wasn't about to watch Todd desecrate that Church. Sorry!

Todd and I have since made up, I think... maybe... but I don't see much of him anymore. Not sure how he's doing. Judy and Kerry are still roaming around.

Kami has managed to get out of being homeless by taking advantage of some of the many, many, many services available to women. I still see her come to the Library and I'll always ask her. “How Miserable is your day, today, Kami?”

I did exactly that the last time I saw her. Her response was unexpected.

“It is horrible, go and sit down and I shall tell you everything!” she tells me to my horror as she waddles by, then turns to me with this huge grin on her face. “I must torture you today. I have not done so in a while!”

On that day I was omelette...  

The Simple Joys of Being Homeless!

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

One of the things I've been hearing a lot of is “You're homeless by choice” or “You like being homeless.”

Where does this come from? Seriously! It's not simply insulting, it's down right ridiculous. I often question the intelligence of those making those comments.

“When I grown up I'm going to be homeless! Cuz it's just cool!” Sure...

Okay, so you look around and you see people who don't look homeless, but are. You'll see guys like Nick, who served in the Air Force, is extremely organized, good guy. He's has a little issue with relating to others, but other than that, why is he homeless? Then there's Kenny. Kenny tried very hard to get out of being homeless. He had a job for a while but was unable to save enough to get a place to live. Or Roger, who has since moved back to his native Boston where he found work. He had a full time job for years at the movie theatre on First and Railroad, but he was still homeless.

My good friend Gary is a prince of a man. I've never met anyone more industrious, generous or forgiving. If Gary doesn't like you: you probably need to figure out why you're such a horrible person. He's about the best barometer there is for character. Gary's had a job for four years (or is it five?), working 40 hour weeks, but he simply does not make enough to get a place to live!

I could, by the way, get into why housing is so expensive... but I won't digress from the issue at hand except to say: it's a government created problem! (Maybe I'll get into that some other time... )

All four of these guys would be the first to jump up and grab a job helping the volunteers wherever they happen to be. Trash needs to go out? Gary's on it! Truck needs loading or unloading? There go Roger and Nick! Don't ever accuse any of these guys of being lazy. Not in front of me! Do and I'll prove you're a moron in front of everyone!

Funny thing is this: the people who say “you must like being homeless” are most often women. The services available for women, not just here in Livermore, but anywhere, are legion! Women can get just about anything they want if they care to look. Housing for a woman is pretty easily obtained. Being female and homeless for anything but a short period is more about laziness than anything.

But if you're a man, and homeless, forget it. There's no Sheppard's Gate, no Tri-Valley Haven, nada... You're a man, you're pretty much on your own.

Is that as it should be? Maybe. Personally, I'm of the mind that we men need to learn to be men. It's a process that can take years, and some of us fall by the wayside.

Of those men who are homeless and don't appear to be (for the most part) it's not about a choice, it's about circumstance. Getting a place to live is expensive! Simple biology and the culture expect men to do it on their own. Again, part of me thinks this is as it should be. Did God place us here where we are for a reason? That, of course, is between you and God, but it is something to consider.

Nick, Kenny, Roger and Gary are people I have a whole lot of respect for. They're doing it however they can. They're not out flying a sign begging for your loose change and expecting a C-note. They don't call the the volunteers and say that their motel bill needs paying and the volunteers never did enough for them (yes, folks, Keith and Nancy, who used to sit on the rock flying a sign over by Safeway, actually did that!).

You won't find any one of the four men I mentioned complaining about where they are at or pontificating about what the world should do for them. That does not mean they chose to be homeless or like being homeless. It means they've accepted it and are dealing with it. Those of you out there that are of the opinion that this is what they want... your opinion is based on some personal fantasy that has no basis in reality.

And I'd be very interested in Gary's opinion of you.

For those of you who are interested in me, personally, Jim Schnitter interviewed me last November and posted the video on You Tube: 

Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GF3hEOxWrWE

Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIARc1BU344

Part 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8cnPovY3cQ

Part 4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CI1GtLMLpWg

Imagine Livermore Without a Library... the Perils of Assembly Bill 5

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

Officially, it is known as Assembly Bill 5 and titled: The Homeless Bill of Rights.

Imagine this: you're on your way with your very young child to go to Monday Night Story Time at the Livermore Public Library (which runs fall through mid spring)... you get there, and you see all these tents! Tents, hundreds of cigarette butts, maybe a couple of people drinking... and they all look homeless... well, and low and behold, you're right! They are exactly what they look like! Why are they allowed to stay?

Right now, pitch a tent in front of City Hall or the Library and the police will be on you like: NOW!

But if Ammiano's Homeless Bill of Rights passes: nobody can tell them to leave. NOBODY!

Sure, a couple of good things in it, maybe... getting a fine for sleeping in your car... not fun.

But, wait a minute, there is something called a Hygiene Centre mandated in this bill! So, we get showers and bathrooms for the homeless somewhere in Livermore (nevermind that the Churches already do this, now the City has to do it now!). As it stands now, the Homeless have access to showers, Monday Morning, Wednesday Afternoon and Friday Morning in three different churches around Livermore. They open for a few hours, people show up, get showered, and leave.

But the hygiene center will have to be open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I don't know about you, but what I'm imagining is a great place to set up shop to sell whatever injectable drug there is... maybe Meth, maybe Heroine. Great place that's always there! The police will have to have a special detail just to make it any kind of safe.

And the churches that do the work now, which cost you tax payers NOTHING! Those programs will most likely go away entirely, since there will be no need for them!

And I'm sorry, folks, I don't trust our city government to manage anything like this with any degree of competence. The city of Livermore does nothing, nada, zero for the homeless and I'm telling you: this is for the best! Keeping the city out of the homeless business is the way I like it and you should know by now: I am homeless!

But let's get back to the Livermore Public Library issue for a minute. I'm like a lot of Livermorons... I looove me some LPL! It is the best library in the SF Bay Area, and that is not hyperbole (hyperbole = blowing smoke up your a.... for you old time Livermorons). It simply is the best Library in the Bay Area. Do a tour and find one better, I challenge you. One with the same or longer hours, this kind of staff, 24/7 WiFi (and Tommie's Cafe... for crying out loud, whoever thought of attaching a coffee shop aught to get a Nobel Prize for Ingenuity)...

Now imagine the scene I described above. How many Library Patrons do you think LPL will entertain? How soon will hours be cut back? How many Librarians will lose their jobs?

Now, I'm a guy who's not at all fond of the average government worker, but we're talking about a Library... ours! I see AB5 putting something in danger that I dearly love... and frankly, not going to be quiet about it... no sir...

You'll find the text of AB5 Here:
http://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/billNavClient.xhtml?bill_id=201320140AB5

Street Guide: Tips for the Newly Homeless in Livermore, California

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

So, you lost your job a while back, and you've been evicted from wherever you live... what now? Homelessness is staring you square in the face and you're scared out of your wits! What do you do now?

If you have a car, you're better off than some. Keeping it is going to be a problem without any income. Cars are expensive! Consider that you might not be able to keep that either and be prepared for that first and foremost.

Lucky you, you're in Livermore. I don't call the homeless in Livermore the most pampered homeless in the world for nothing: I mean it. You have so many services here to keep you fed and clean it isn't funny, but I'll go over those in a minute. First off, you need to get your head screwed on straight and face what you're facing.

First, always keep this in mind: Less is More! 

The less you have, the better off you are. Crap ties you down and decreases your mobility. You have a lot of stuff in storage? Shed it as soon as you possibly can however you can. I don't care that they're family heirlooms or whatever, your going to lose them if you don't hit the lottery like now! Better to control how you lose your stuff than have your stuff control you till circumstance takes it from you.

Second: be very, very careful who you hook up with and who you trust. Learn to say “NO!” 

Maybe you don't need me to say this, but some of you do: there are people out here who will take advantage of whatever resources you have and suck you dry. There are even some dangerous people out here. We have people who look perfectly sane and talk a good game but will turn on you in two shakes. Never EVER let anyone stash stuff in your car! Don't do it! You won't be able to get rid of it most of the time. NEVER let any of the homeless drive your car. And be very, very leery of letting anyone into your car in the first place.

Third: learn who you can trust!

Among the homeless in Livermore, and probably anywhere else, there are the good, the bad and the ugly. The ugly, largely drunks and drug addicts. They'll be nice enough, but you probably will be able to weed them out pretty easily. The good may not appear all that good to you in the beginning. Those are the people who are hard to know, often times. They've been there, done that and they know that the new guy or gal showing up is probably a mooch that expects service on a silver platter. You can ask around and find out who is who, but experience will tell you who can be trusted. The bad will be amoung the friendliest you meet in the beginning. They'll sidle up to you with a smile and do whatever they can to get into your good graces. See item 2!

So, the services in Livermore are the best there are anywhere. Showers Monday, Wednesday and Friday, food every day, clothing on Monday and Friday. Stay clean, don't make a mess, and be mobile enough to move out of wherever you are on a moment's notice, and you will rarely, if ever, have a problem with Livermore's Finest (aka the Police). By the way, when you come in contact with a cop, introduce yourself, be friendly, and don't be afraid to tell the cop whatever he wants to know. Our guys in blue here are pretty damn good to those of us who try not to be a problem.

The services:
Monday: 7:30am – 11am Showers, Breakfast and Clothing Locker.
Vineyard Christian Fellowship, 460 North Livermore Ave. 
It's run by Cornerstone Church and assisted by Cedar Grove Church, show up early as you can. Breakfast is served at 9am, but showers open pretty early. That beefy guy with the smooth legs and women's clothing, that's Doug, the Shower Nazi! He manages the showers for Mickey Kundert (the lady in charge). He might look scary, but Doug runs the showers better than anyone else ever has... Breakfast is always good. Often you'll get treated to Biscuits and Gravy (a big favourite there!) 

Tuesday: Noon – 6pm Open Heart Kitchen
Asbury Methodist Church, 4743 East Ave.
Open Heart Kitchen has been around for years. They serve anyone no questions asked, and the food is pretty darn good. You'll notice these folks like to serve a lot of Devil's Food (chocolate cake) in a church! Make sure you give them a little jab about that, it tickles them! There's also a lot of bread put out for you to take with you for later. 

Wednesday: Noon to 6pm Open Heart Kitchen – Showers - Cothing
Asbury Methodist Church, 4743 East Ave.
Open Heart as above.
Cornerstone has Johnny DeLaRosa (yes, from THE DeLaRosa family... if you don't know what I'm talking about, you'll find out eventually) opens the showers up a little after noon and runs those till 6pm. Get on the list early. Johnny's a good guy with a good sense of humour... but don't tick him off! Bob and Donna McKenzie set up the clothing locker at noon and do take requests! If you've got a job interview, you can probably get something nice from them. 

Thursday: 3pm – 6pm Open Heart Kitchen
Vineyard Christian Fellowship, 460 North Livermore Ave
Pretty much exactly how it's run at Asbury, except slightly shorter hours. Sandra Chesterman is usually the first server. She's someone you want to know, so be nice to her. There's at least one guy out there with a crush on her who will have your head if you're not... (yes, Gary, I'm talking about you!)

Friday: 9am – 11am Showers and Breakfast
Trinity Church, 557 Olivina Ave
Trinity is a relative newcomer to homeless services, but they have facilities enough to be able to get people in and out fast. Two showers each for the men and the women helps out quite a bit. Breakfast is pretty good as well.

Saturday: 1:30pm – 2:30pm Lunch
St. Matthews Baptist Church, 1239 North Livermore Ave.
Service with a smile. St. Matthews likes to make one of the best meals the homeless will ever see once a week.

Sunday: 9am – 10am, Breakfast
Discovery Church, 5860 Las Positas Rd.
Always a good breakfast. If you have a car or a bicycle, it's easier to get to. Walking will take time, however. It's right off Vasco Road.

From November 1 to April 30 you also have the Livermore Homeless Refuge. If it rains, or gets below 40 degrees, they open their doors and put you up for the night. You'll meet the Quiet Man and Sofia Loren... I mean, Bob and Donna McKenzie, who are there every single night and do the lion's share of the work. Pay attention to the rules, don't be a problem, and if Bob and/or Donna ask you to do something: just do it! Don't argue!

The trick to getting along as a homeless person is, first and foremost, to accept it and decide that you're not going to be a problem. If anyone wants to hear your story they will ask. If they do not, believe me, they do NOT want to hear it. You'll hear a lot of whining and complaining out there. Those that do have about as much potential as that snail you accidentally stepped on...

Complaining isn't going to get you anywhere. Move on and work on moving back up. It's difficult, but not impossible to hold down a job and be homeless. Pastor Doug at Vineyard Christian Fellowship will let you use that address for mail if you ask him, but be sure and ask him first.

Bottom line is this: you can be homeless and maintain your self respect. It's not the death sentence some of the bleeding hearts make it out to be... get over it and get on with life!