Have We Been Properly Introduced?

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

Someone posted to me that I should blog about what I do for other people... this isn't going to be what that person had in mind, not by a long shot. If I do do something nice for someone, I'm not going to talk about it. Glory is never a good reason to do someone a favour. Giving should never be done with the expectation of reward on any level. Most parents understand this... at least, I hope they do.

This column is not just for the homeless. It's for everyone. But it is definitely for the homeless, especially those who are truly trying. I'm hoping it's part of the solution... maybe I'll find out someday... But I hope you read it with your own life in mind...

Oh, and people (you homeless people out there)... stop talking! Keep your mouth shut for a while and listen. Many of you aren't very good at listening with anything but your lips flapping... it's something a lot of you need to work on!

What I am going to talk about is something of a lost art. It's an art that needs to make a roaring come back...

Have you ever, in your life, been speaking with two people, friends to you, strangers to each other, and failed to introduce them? I have. It took me a very long time to understand how rude a thing this is.

You may laugh, of course. I believe it was some story involving some Southern Belle or another (maybe it was Gone With The Wind) in which some woman told a man she could not speak with him because they had not been properly introduced. I cannot remember when I first heard of this, but I was very young and it struck me, at the time, as being a ridiculous evasion.

The problem is this: as I grew older and realized that people truly do desire to make human connections (at least, normal people desire that). A proper introduction is one of the best gifts you can give. Humility, shyness and embarrassment are barriers a Proper Introduction overcomes.

For the homeless, and for, I am quite sure, many other circumstances, proper introductions can make life easier. Bob and Donna McKenzie who work the Warming Centre every evening it's open, understand this instinctively. They make sure each new person that comes in is introduced to those who can help the most amongst their fellow homeless.

An introduction will let people know if they can be comfortable with this new person. It is an invitation to attempt conversation, and conversation breeds comfort.

It also accomplishes something else very important, especially amongst the homeless. It allows people who may have difficulty with social graces develop those necessary skills.

If you think that's hyperbole, consider this: how many people do not get a job because they lack social graces? Hmmmmm?

The more people one has contact with, the more feedback they will get as to what is and is not acceptable. Just an aside: I told a friend today that she raised her voice inappropriately... she said she was thankful and asked me to continue doing it. That just happens to be something I strongly believe a real friend will do. Honesty and trust are important between friends. Brutal Honesty delivered well is equally important. (In case you didn't notice, brutal honesty is a running theme in this blog...)

A proper introduction offers comfort to those around you. Introducing that guy to that girl might not seem like a big deal to you... but it may be for them! Introducing that business man to that guy who's looking for work... introducing that kid to that font of seemingly useless information... Introducing anyone to anyone... do it, sit back, and watch what happens!

Before I go on, I have to define what I mean when I say “Friend.” A friendship, a real one, is based on trust and respect of the highest order. A friend is someone you bounce ideas off. It's someone with whom you share events in your life. It's someone who shows you patience, understanding and gives you feedback based on what you tell them and how much trust you show them. Friendship is a very vulnerable state to be in. If you've ever had a friend, or someone you thought was a friend, betray you, you'll understand this.

Imagine (and some of you do not have to) that your friend is a former lover, ex spouse, or someone very, very close to you of the opposite sex (or not, if you're of a different persuasion). Suddenly you meet that very special someone who you fall madly in love with. You may find yourself in a quandary. This new person in your life, are you going to keep them away from your ex or that friend? Is it suddenly awkward for you to be friends with that trusted person?

The best course of action, in my opinion, is to make that introduction. Allow them to engage and learn from that experience who these two are by how they relate to each other.

Allow the two of them to decide if they will get along. A real friend will respect your lover, and a true love will respect that you have a good friend. If there's conflict between them, ask them to work it out. Don't stand in the middle or try to keep them apart. It will crush you and be miserable for the two of them. The point is this, the two of them will let you know if that friendship is going to be a real problem after the introduction is made. If it's a problem before it's made, that's a different situation, and you should either reconsider your friendship or your new love, depending on who has the problem...

If you attend a church or synagogue, it's highly likely you've made friends there. Now, I go to Cedar Grove, and one of the things people do practice there are proper introductions, so I've met quite a few people. I haven't really met anyone I don't like at Church, though forming connections is never guaranteed. Those that are uncomfortable with you simply won't form that connection after being introduced, for whatever reason.

Note, please, that I would not introduce someone I do not trust to someone that I trust without making it clear to the person I trust if I make that introduction at all. I would not, for instance, introduce anyone to Adam Parris. I would (and have) pointed him out to people.

Human Connections is how communities form. It's how we, as people, learn to be good to each other. It's how we, as people, learn not to be selfish. In the long run, human connections solve more problems than they cause and forms a bulwark against those that would do harm.

All of it can start with a proper introduction.

Permanent Solution... NOT!

On July 10, Christopher Bowman was stabbed to death, allegedly by Matthew Jacobsen. He was thirty five years old. It happened at the Julian Street Inn in San Jose, a permanent homeless shelter that offers a variety of services to single men.

Conflict between Homeless Men is inevitable. Boys will be Boys and all that... just the way it is. When you add methamphetamine and alcohol into the mix, it gets worse.

The circumstances between Bowman and Jacobsen I am completely unfamiliar with, save that a man is dead, another man is accused, and it happened at a permanent homeless shelter.

There are those of you reading this who would truly like to see a permanent homeless shelter in Livermore. There are also a whole lot of you who are horrified at the idea, but cannot articulate why. I fall into the category of those opposed to it. The difference between me and most is that I can articulate why.

The Livermore Homeless Refuge (we call it the “Warming Centre”) is closed for the season, and has been since April 30^th. On that night, it was a relatively warm night, and it would have been closed save that it has become a newer tradition for it to be open for that last day so those of us who endured the time together can... bond, for lack of a better term.

Bob and Donna McKenzie put up all the gear, and give away a lot of it. Everyone gets a new sleeping bag. We all get sanitary wipes (which I love, by the way, it makes being clean easier), and whatever else we might need. Bob and Donna, I've mentioned before, do a lot. Sandra Chesterman was, of course, there, and she cooked for us, as she did last year. It's her second year as the director of the program.

Sandra, Bob and Donna are the tripod that keeps the program going. Nobody else does nearly as much as those three. I like to give people Nicknames... I call Bob “The Quiet Man,” Donna is “The Taxidermist” and Sandra is “the Babe” (yeah, Gary, that's just for you!)

I should not forget to mention that it was Pastor Doug Quedara who founded the operation. He's the Pastor at Vineyard Christian Fellowship at 460 North Livermore Avenue. Go say hello to him any Sunday. If you're a Christian, you won't regret experiencing one of his services. Good guy who raised a lot of girls... he might remind you a bit of Mr. Bennett from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice... he has that type of wit about him.

A lot of things happened over the course of last season at the Warming Centre.

At Christmas Eve Sandra used some available funds to rent rooms for a bunch of the homeless at a local motel. Boston Bill smoked up the room he was in, left a mess of beer cans all over the place, and wouldn't leave till four hours after check out time. The room was unusable for three days.

Anthony called one of the Volunteers a “racist” after he was told to leave for a variety of problems. The police asked later “does that guy ever shut up?”

And Typhoid Mary, who claimed to have had both forms of Meningitis got the Warming Centre shut down on a very cold night while Sandra, Bob and Donna disinfected every surface at the mission and had the carpets sanitized twice. A bunch of people slept out in weather that was, if I remember correctly, below 30 degrees. Typhoid Mary earned her nickname that night, we've called her that ever since. It turns out, according to her doctors, she's never had either form of meningitis.

We had no violence that I can remember this season (with the exception of Adam Parris slashing my bicycle tires, but that's another story). We've had threats of it before. Sandra was threatened. Both Bob and Donna have been threatened. Sandra has the luxury of a husband that could probably knock anyone I know down without breaking a sweat. Bob and Donna, however, are both pushing 80... And as amazing a presence as both of them have, it's up to the rest of us to back them up when they need backing up. It's happened more than once. All three of them have been severely punished for their good deeds.

What is more, the Warming Centre struggles to find volunteers. I remember last November, Jim Schitter interviewed me for St. Charles Catholic Church. The point of that interview was to get volunteers for the Warming Centre. I keep forgetting to ask him if seeing an ugly man flap his lips for forty minutes had any impact... I kinda doubt it...

There is a homeless woman in Livermore who wants to take over Dania Hall on 2^nd and South N Street and turn that into a permanent refuge. Interesting thought, surely. Also, many would like to see the old library on South Livermore Avenue and Pacific turned into a permanent refuge.

For reasons that have nothing at all to do with anything I'm telling you, both ideas seem, to me at least, completely unrealistic and unlikely to happen. I'm thankful for this.

Notwithstanding is the fact that, between May 1^st and Holloween, living on the streets of Livermore, so long as one decides to do it right, is not so horrible a circumstance to have to live with. Yeah, you'll hear whining and complaining, but it's survivable. I've done it for three and a half years and I have to laugh at some of the folks who complain bitterly about it.

As much as I have articulated bad behaviour on the part of certain homeless, the majority are pretty well behaved.

Now, I have not been around too many people these last couple of weeks. But I am told, through the grape vine, that a lot of those I've written about over the course of the last few weeks are behaving rather well. I wouldn't have any drama, pathos or events to report anyway! The humanity! What's a blogger with a hunger for drama to do?

Conflict in a Homeless Shelter is unavoidable. Having workers there, even paid ones, equipped to deal with potential problems is difficult even for our seasonal operation. Imagine the can of worms we'd be opening if a permanent shelter existed. Livermore is simply too small a community to invite these kinds of big city problems into its midst. And I, for one, would like to someday see children playing on the wide streets of old Livermore the way they did when I was a child...

In San Jose they have a whole lot of homeless problems we do not have. It appears that San Jose is about as well equipped to deal with the issue as Livermore might be now, but they have allowed the problem to fester and become established. We don't have to. The homeless here, by and large, are more “gentile” than the homeless elsewhere. They must be just to survive.

A homeless shelter is a stop gap. It keeps people from dying of exposure on the streets. It is not a solution to homelessness. That, my friends, is a discussion for another time... maybe when I figure it out myself...

Freaky Weird Stuff...

Some of the weird things you see when you're homeless... it truly is amazing.

Last Night... It's coming up on ten at night, we're in the courtyard outside the library and there are more than a few people there using the WiFi, watching YouTube or whatever. My friend Mike and Nick and Kyle (who is too lovable for his own good... he's like a big dumb dog that you just want to throw a frisbee with... and watch him catch it while riding his skateboard into parked cars...) Robert's there, Ricky's there... and three I had never seen before sitting at the tables in front of Tommie's.

So, one of those guys, he's wearing a beard, tall, not old, maybe early thirties. He gets up and starts asking everyone (except me as I'm sitting there chain smoking while I'm watching the latest episode of Dexter...) for a lighter. I didn't get up. I figured he'd get to me sooner or later, and I'd give him a light. I just was too engrossed in my show...

Well, nobody had one for him, and he never came to me, so I paid him no mind at all...

The guy sits back down, and Kyle skates off to the White Store (what everyone has always called Fast Mart on East Ave), and goes and buys one. I didn't know this, but that's what he did. He bought the guy a lighter, came back and gave it to this guy.

That was nice, sure. Except the guy didn't use it to light up a smoke.

Instead, he starts lighting up these little slips of paper right there by his table. There must have been ten of them, and he held them just long enough so they wouldn't burn his fingers.

I just watched, incredulous. I was also afraid, more than anything, that it was going to attract some kind of attention... like someone calls the police and those homeless amongst us get blamed (that's happened, by the way).

Later, it occurred to me how creepy weird that was. What could possibly be so private you have to make the effort to beg for a lighter to burn?

I suppose you can imagine the conspiracies that went through my head. Yeah, the guy was Arabic... no, don't go there...

And part of me wanted to talk to the Network Admin from the Library, who also works with the security system... I didn't... I told Kelly in the morning about it... but you know what? It probably something so very innocent...

I wish he hadn't burned the stuff in front of us, though...

It still strikes me as very strange, and I wasn't ever going to blog about it. Robert told me I should just do it because when you're homeless you really do see a lot of weird stuff...

Using Children for Greed

This Facebook friend of mine shared this photograph with the prerequisite expressions of sympathy to join small army of heartfelt comments...

“Why don't they stop spending money on the military and help the homeless?” one commenter asked. “F...ing government! They have to DO something!” Blah, Blah, Blah...

You know, I can understand these sentiments. I had an argument which turned into a less heated discussion with one person on Facebook over this issue. I pretty much expected the reaction. My attitude about the whole thing isn't what most people would expect, and, at first, it certainly wasn't welcome.

I've posted about this kind of thing before, but this so drives my point home it isn't funny. My attitude is bred of more experience than I care to remember or write about.

When you are a woman, and you have small children, there is NO END to the amount of help available to you!

Tri Valley Haven, Shepherd's Gate, Bay Area Rescue and more are all available locally, and there are organizations across the country that will help a mother with children. They'll get them into lodgings, help her get a job, give them child care... cripes... if you ask them, they might even wipe your nose for you!

Let me tell you what it is you're looking at in this photograph.

You are looking at a mother using her small children to collect free money. I've already posted about how people flying signs here in the valley can get $200 in a day. That's about $22 an hour if they're actually sitting on the curb for eight hours. How lucrative do you think it is to sit with your kids when a man flying a sign by himself can get that much money in a day?

And before you decide to condemn me for what I'm telling you, consider this: is the woman in the photograph homeless at all? There are more than a few fake homeless people out there... why? $22 an Hour!

If nothing else, child labour law should apply here. She's not even holding her own sign, for crying out loud... she's making her kids do it!

Folks, what you're looking at is child abuse exercised with greed as the motive.

Tweakers, or, Methamphetamine and the Homeless

I could rattle off so many names of methamphetamine addled people... we call them “Tweakers” out here...

I've known for a while now that meth does something to the brain. It changes it for the worse. I see little in the way of consistent behaviour of meth addicts, save that they all seem to be a little strange, a little off, and difficult to reason with. The other most common tendencies, in my experience, are toward thievery and violence, in that order.

Among the homeless, meth addiction is rampant. At least half of all the homeless I know have been exposed to it. It has got to the point where if I see a thief, I automatically assume that person does meth, and if I know someone does meth, I assume that person is also a thief. I'm right too often not to make that assumption, it's become part of me.

And what is also sad is this: there are people out there who would otherwise be valuable friends who are on the stuff.

There's this one homeless man, I'll call him Jay. Unless you are completely brain dead, Jay will strike you as dangerous. It would probably be true whether or not he ever did meth, he's just that type of guy. Like most people who do meth, he is a little off. Not quite right. He'll talk to you in circles around what he really means to say, never quite getting to the point, but getting his point across in his way. The way he speaks, it will be enough to make you nervous without his having issued a threat.

Frightening though Jay may be, you can't help but like him. Having a conversation with him you get the sense that this man actually has a sense of honour about him. You'll become aware that he does live by a certain code. He will not cross you if he doesn't feel he's been crossed by you first.

I've heard of things Jay's done, and they're not pretty. He has a history of violent behaviour and a well established reputation of being dangerous. A few of those who know him suspect he suffers from extreme bouts of rage. He's highly intelligent and, do I dare say, cunning. He's what one might think of as a Bad Boy on Steroids. I only ever saw Jay do one thing that could be described wrong. I saw him drop a man with one punch. I really don't know the details of how he got into the fight, but that impressed me greatly.

I imagine that at some point, I'll be close enough to something Jay's does to have to write about it. At that point, he'll be enraged and I'll have to watch my back very carefully. Jay doesn't mess around. What would Jay be like had he never done meth? I imagine he'd probably be the kind of man one could rely upon to have your back.

There are others, of course, who I cannot imagine being any way other than what they are. This probably has more to do with how far gone they are. Methamphetamine is not the only drug plaguing the homeless, of course. There is a lot of pill popping, and some heroin. A whole lot of pot smoking. Meth, in my opinion, is simply the most dangerous.

I was speaking with Joe Van Fossen the other day, having a long conversation about just this subject. I only recently started speaking with Joe. He's a university student, very young, with the dream of becoming a doctor. I told Joe that I believed methamphetamine to be the biggest contributing factor to homelessness amongst those who use it. In the course of the conversation he began to describe to me why methamphetamine does what it does, why it's so addictive and why it changes brain chemistry.

I have to tell you, I'm not very good at following conversations about biochemical effects, but I managed to understand enough of what he was saying to conclude that I was right in my thinking. What follows is Joe's summary of what meth does to the brain. Having read it, I have to beg all of you parents out there: do what ever it takes to keep this stuff away from your children. It will destroy their lives.

Speeding to Psychosis

By Joe Van Fossen

Methamphetamine messes up your brain, simply put. Specifically, it alters the brain's reward system.

The reward system consists of a few structures in the middle of the brain that work with other structures to regulate emotional response and influence behavior. Dopamine (a chemical released by neurons to send signals to other neurons), plays a key role in driving what people do.

When you eat, read, write, use the bathroom, exercise, fall in love, make love, see somebody you love, breathe a particular way, you experience a natural rush of dopamine in the form of relief, happiness, peace of mind. Anytime you feel good, great, or better, dopamine is being released and reabsorbed in your brain.

Natural dopamine release (or the lack thereof) is crucial for our survival because it increases the likelihood that we will repeat behaviors that preserve and proliferate our existence; it really has a powerful effect on what we do and what we do not do.

The dopamine system can easily be hijacked. People do it all the time. Even you. How?

From overindulgence, a broad term which here means to repeat a pleasurable act for the feel-good feeling it gives you, and especially to your detriment.

Of all things to indulge in, methamphetamine is the most dangerous. It lets loose more than ten-fold the amount of dopamine released after sex. The relative amount of "feel-good" is supposedly unparalleled-- as is the crash.

Methamphetamine's over-stimulation of dopaminergic neurons induces a dopamine psychosis: including the highest high and the lowest low. Speed affects the reward system and, thus, behavior. Damage occurs right away.

The addiction pattern of meth-users (often called “tweakers”) is largely consistent in that erratic and irrational behaviors develop and persist. Three common interpersonal behaviors exhibited by most tweakers are theft, violence, and deception.

Why so consistent?

Most meth-users share a similarly out-of-whack reward system. They all crave the intensity of their first rush (now impossible to achieve, due to neuronal damage and "natural" down-regulation), but the damage caused with each use decreases the brain's capacity to release and receive dopamine. Each addict has an insatiable dopamine craving.

The urge is so powerful that it out-competes both natural and deeply conditioned drivers of behavior. People who abuse meth have a tendency to choose the drug over food, sleep, and even water; let alone responsibilities of family, hygiene, and work.

In the long-term, damage to the brain’s limbic reward system is usually irreversible. The least extreme damage could include a temporary (one or more years) decrease in mental capacity and cognitive functioning. Most heavy users, however, suffer less temporary deficits in holistic neural functioning—if they manage to quit. Meth leaves some dead, some scarred, and many unable to feel happy again, persistently doing whatever it takes to chase their first methamphetamine high.

Private Life

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

I was watching my friend Ricky's bags the other day. They were sitting on a bench next to the one I sat on and this woman comes up with a camera, points it at his stuff, and takes pictures.

“What do you think you're doing?” I asked her. She tried to make some excuse that she was having an event or some such BS and I proceeded to make it pretty clear how rude I thought she was. Was it rude? Yeah, I think so. Was it a violation of Ricky's privacy? That's a bigger question...

Various people have complained to me about how I had violated their “Right To Privacy” with what I'd posted in my blog... which I found insanely amusing considering everything I've written of had been done publicly. No, Judy, you were not the only one to whine about it. You were just the only one who exceeded 300 decibels doing it...

Serendipity is a funny thing. It was a couple of days later I sat in Tommie's Cafe having one of those interesting conversations with Yvonne's Pet-Man Pat... he's the silver haired guy with the James Earl Jones Baritone voice, and we're meandering through all kinds of topics the way dogs will follow rabbit trails, and we come to the issue of privacy.

“I don't have any,” I told Pat.

Pat looked at me in his characteristically thoughtful mode for a moment before acknowledging that it had to be true.

But I started reading up on Privacy following my conversation with Pat (the guy tends to force me to do that... not knowingly... but he's always got something on his mind that sends my mind through half a dozen loops... conversations with Pat are always compelling)

Now, the American Civil Liberties Union will tell you that a combination of amendments to the U.S. Constitution create the right to privacy (the do not “protect” but “create” the right, which I found interesting all by itself). They make great effort to mishmash together the 1^st Amendment Right to Assemble, the 4^th Amendment Protection against Illegal Search and Seizure, the 5^th Amendment Protection against Self Incrimination and the 14^th amendment rights to Due Process and Equal Protection... heady stuff...

If you think arguments supporting the “Right to Privacy” are ambiguous and difficult to understand at best, you'd have a lot of company. The foundation for most of those arguments were originally published in the Harvard Law Review in 1890 as “The Right to Privacy” by Brandeis and Warren. The document mostly concerns the press publishing gossip and scandal, but its influence on legal attitudes cannot be denied. No court ever supported the Right to Privacy before its publication.

But the Warren and Brandeis work spoke of protecting “the privacy of private life”.

I should remind everyone that what you do in public cannot be labelled “private.”

Warren and Brandeis attempted, in their interesting wisdom, to disconnect “Privacy” from “Property.”

Well guess what... when you are homeless, you're not propertied! Everything you do is subject to someone's observation. Nothing, and I mean nothing you do is private! You are always subject to some intrusion by anyone walking around the corner.

Yes, folks, it's one of the reasons homeless people are different from most of the rest of you. The smart ones are cagey and suspicious of strangers. When someone new is hanging about suddenly that raises hackles. That, of course, is about instinct bread of experience.

I'll use myself and my good friend Ricky as an example here, simply because we both have jobs, we both have all our belongings attached to our bicycles, so we live in a similar fashion.

At any given time, the police can arrive and find an excuse to go through our bags. LPD did that to me once. It was annoying, but I survived. Had to refold my cloths. But I did get rid of a lot of accumulated useless crap, so they actually did me a favour... Was that a violation of the Illegal Search and Seizure clause in the 4^th Amendment? I'm sure the ACLU would think so, but they'd probably have a difficult time making the case. It was not a pleasant experience, granted, but I don't have any porn in my bags, or anything else to be embarrassed about... (well... dirty skivvies...)

Neither one of us, Ricky or me, have a reasonable expectation of privacy just based on the fact that we're both homeless, and we both have to engage in some “odd behaviour” that will raise suspicions. That's one of the reasons I'm thankful that there are some police on LPD who at the very least recognize me. One pair found me one night and said “I know him, he's all right...” (and went on to mention Mark Watters... who is a whole other story I should tell at some point...) That offhand comment kinda made my week...

If you google “Illegal Search and Seizure Homeless” you'll mostly find instances of local governments clearing homeless encampments. The ACLU would have you believe this is always illegal. The City of Livermore has done this several times each year, and they always give reasonable warning, often three days, for the homeless to clear out. At that point, they will clear an encampment. It's one of the reasons I don't have one.

But the biggest reason has to do with that lack of privacy. Having people know where you sleep is never a good idea. Those days when I am observed by unwanted eyes, I leave. I can do that. Mobility is a skill I carefully cultivated.

When everything you do can be observed, it will be observed.

If you're homeless, or you think you might be homeless, you have to get over it and live with it. You have no recourse to protect yourself from it except to remember it always.

I'm still ticked about that woman with the camera... I may not have a right to privacy, but I sure as hell have a right to free speech!

Lady, that was just rude!

To Take A Shower...

Homelessness for Stupid People

The foibles of the most pampered homeless population in the Bay Area...

My vacation is over... not that it really was a vacation. Even amongst “normal” people, unemployment is seldom considered a vacation.

But I'm back to work, and reminding myself of certain realities that exist when you have a job and are homeless. No, I'm still going to be homeless. Unless I hit the lottery (and since I'm not stupid enough to play, that's not happening) I'm going to be homeless. That or if suddenly Bosslady decides my wages are going to be $18-$20 an hour... and she increases my hours to full time...

Anyway, not happening. Still sleeping outside, still trying to make sure I get a shower.

Mondays and Fridays, now out for me. I won't be showing up at Vineyard on Monday or Trinity on Friday because... well, I'm working! So I'll have to make other arrangements.

I'll make Wednesday at Asbury.

Part of keeping a job is at least looking and smelling presentable. So this is a pretty big deal. I'll be able to make those arrangements, but it'll still be tough. I'll largely be dependent on friends who aren't much better off than I am.

That said, I want to keep this job. For one thing, it's conveniently easy to get to. I have no problem being on time and doing the work. Commuting any length of time would be way to much to handle. I had a hard time with it when I had a place to live.

Bosslady is exactly the type I like to work for. She's no-nonsense, straight shooter who has standards and won't take any back talk. She reminds me a little of Chief Steinhardt, the executive officer back on Coast Guard Cutter Hudson. Well, Bosslady's not quite as gruff or loud as Chief Steinhardt was. I don't think she could bellow down Hudson's 160 foot length and give you the impression he can see every smudge you missed on that brass you're supposed to be polishing... but you get the idea...

I won't have to worry about running out of money, either. The way I've been surviving is by taking the odd job here and there, busting ass, doing it as best I could, and hoping I did it well enough so someone would call me up and offer me another. That's been hit and miss, but I haven't actually run out of money since I got laid off last August. I've managed to stay off GA and Foodstamps, and I'm thankful that there will be no need, assuming Bosslady stays happy with me, to ever go there.

But showers will be a problem.

While I was driving the Dial A Ride minivan, I was all over he place and I made enough to get a membership for 24hour Fitness. I'd grab a shower daily on my lunch break at which ever facility I was closest to, be it Stockton or San Jose or San Carlos.

But this is not a driving job, and the 24 hour fitness has moved. I don't make enough with this new job to pay for that membership with this new job, anyway, so that's really not an option.

For now, it's going to be hit and miss... but I'll muddle through it with an electric razor, wipes and the bathroom where I work... and the occasional luxurious shower at a friends home...

You folks that have your own... you have no idea what a luxury it is till you don't have it any more...